


cure

by emergencyquad



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-05 14:56:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5379320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emergencyquad/pseuds/emergencyquad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sunggyu breaks Woohyun's heart. It isnt the hardest thing to do, after all. He tears it at the cracks and flips it inside out. Scratches at it with pretty nails caked with droplets of crimson, until blood pours out in handfuls, a stream of red pulsing out at a rhythm onto Sunggyu's long, venomous fingers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	cure

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this a long time ago.

During OGS, Woohyun liked to sit on the roof of hotel rooms in bright cities and let the fumes from the cars and hundreds of buildings run through his hair and the fissures of his cracked heart. He will never forget the look each city has from the top of a roof, even if he forgets literally everything else. Something about lights against dark sky makes him feel somewhat normal.

No matter how quiet Woohyun is when he leaves, Sunggyu always seems to sense his absence and float up to his side on the rooftop. They don’t talk, not even a single syllable is exchanged, but sometimes Sunggyu will tangle his socked feet with Woohyun’s while they dangle off the edge. As Woohyun stares at the lights for so long that when he closes his eyes they are still vivid on his eyelids, he thinks that it’s moments like these that he will never forget.

\---

Their first encounter was a blur of scalding lips meeting sharp collarbones, tugs at the roots of Woohyun’s inky hair, long eager fingers urging for moremoremore. Hot pants jutting across a taut stomach while legs wrapped around a slim waist, heels of Sunggyu’s cold feet leaving indents on Woohyun’s bare back. And that’s when it started - Sunggyu slowly inching his way into Woohyun’s previously dormant heart, taking and taking and taking, scraping everything within his reach away, until Woohyun was nothing but a writhing mess of ruined innocence and tainted dreams pooled in the palms of Kim Sunggyu’s beautiful hands.

Woohyun knew better than to let himself believe they were something, that they were in love. That when Sunggyu pauses his ministrations to utter “you’re fucking perfect” into his ear, it didn’t mean anything. He often had to stomp on the urge to whisper back the “do you love me?” that crawled up his throat, but he didn’t out of fear, fear of losing the only thing he had to hang onto.  
Woohyun wakes up every morning and Sunggyu is gone, but his scent is still there, and his colors still bleed through when he closes his eyes and tries not to think about how in love he is with Kim Sunggyu.

\---

Woohyun realized too soon that there is always cruelty behind beauty. He thinks he knew when he was 11 and watched his mother destroy herself night after night just for the bit of money it took for him and his hyung to live. Or maybe he knew when he turned 7 and his father left his mother for a younger woman. Or maybe he really knew when he was 19 and saw Kim Sunggyu’s face for the very first time.  
As he stares at himself in their steamy bathroom mirror in their shitty rundown dorm, he picks out each flaw on his face and each blemish decorating his flesh. His lips are a bit too big and his face a bit too large. His thighs would be prettier if he could lose a few more pounds and a few more scars.

When Woohyun looks in the mirror, all he sees are beautiful, angry red lines.

\---

Sometimes, when Sunggyu is really tired, he wraps scolding hot arms around Woohyun's waist and burrows his face into the space between his collarbone and chin. Woohyun feels everything. He feels the heat from Sunggyu's arms and Sunggyu's breath and Sunggyu; Woohyun breathes every breathe in and out with Sunggyu, dreams happy dreams with Sunggyu. Woohyun feels everything.

(Woohyun feels nothing at all - the normal ache of a cracking heart isn't present and the ringing murmur in his ear spitting venom is on hiatus. Woohyun feels nothing.)

\---

It’s a Tuesday when Woohyun decides to end it. He can’t handle this any longer - this push and pull with Sunggyu, the long periods of Sunggyu not even glancing at him and then the random nights when he whispers I’m sorry, hot breath fanning across Woohyun’s thinning cheek and melting away any words he might have wanted to say. He can’t handle the kisses that literally shatter Woohyun’s whole world, but don’t even seem to vibrate Sunggyu’s.

“I’m sleeping in the living room.” Is the only thing Sunggyu mutters when Woohyun tries to explain, that no, no, I still need your lips, I just need your heart along with them, but Woohyun’s always been horrible with words, especially when Sunggyu is present, and the only thing he can do is nod his head and burrow back into his blankets.

That night he dreams of a world where Sunggyu loves him back - a world where there are no blinding stage lights and powdery makeup blurring their vision and clogging up their arteries.

\---

Sunggyu breaks Woohyun's heart. It isnt the hardest thing to do, after all. He tears it at the cracks and flips it inside out. Scratches at it with pretty nails caked with droplets of crimson, until blood pours out in handfuls, a stream of red pulsing out at a rhythm onto Sunggyu's long, venomous fingers.

The words seem to reverberate inside of Woohyun, “I met someone last night,” the syllables crack multiple ribs, but he has to pretend they don’t mean anything. Pretend that Sunggyu means nothing, nothing more than a quick fuck between schedules when neither of them have the time nor energy to think about how wrong it is.

(Or how wrong Woohyun has to tell himself it is because to him nothing has ever felt so right.)

Woohyun knows this is his fault, that if he wanted it, Woohyun could have told Sunggyu that he is his and his only. That was before - before they started pretending that everything was normal and they were just normal best friends living normal lives in this completely-not-normal world. But now there is the thin layer of an invisible wall wedged in the space between their bodies and no matter how hard Woohyun wants it, he knows he’d have no self control if he were close to Sunggyu again. That all the walls he’d built up to protect himself from Kim Sunggyu would be obliterated.

“Oh, yeah? Is she hot?” Woohyun forces the words out, hoping Sunggyu doesn’t notice the way they falter and burn his tongue.

Sunggyu doesn’t notice (he never does). “She was nice, said she liked me.”

“Likes you? Someone likes you?”

“You like me.”

Woohyun looks away. “I’m not someone.”

“To me, you are.” The to me, you’re everything, gets lodged in Woohyun’s throat and doesn’t leave until late that night when Sunggyu is dead asleep, one arm draped across Woohyun’s aching ribcage.

Night time is the only time Woohyun lets Sunggyu touch him because they have both accepted the fact that they can’t brave the night without the other - they learned that the hard way, but reached a wordless agreement that it was the best for Infinite (themselves) that they be well rested.

Woohyun thinks Sunggyu breaks his heart piece by piece, everytime he looks at him, touches him, sings with him - another piece is chipped off. 

\---

Woohyun's going crazy. Every word Sunggyu speaks splits him down the middle, and Woohyun’s worried the warm arms around him on those rare nights won’t be enough to messily sew the shreds into something presentable. Splinters puncture his ribs and brush against blackened lungs until those are bleeding out crimson, too. The world is spinning and spinning and he keeps following its lead that sometimes he forgets to remember his own name (but he never forgets Kim Sunggyu).

Woohyun’s on the roof again, but this time Sunggyu’s feet aren’t bumping against his and his lungs won’t soak in the polluted air. Blurred pupils won’t focus on the lights and the water in Woohyun’s eye sockets are creating a mesh of yellows and reds that remind Woohyun of blood. Woohyun’s feet feel frozen but his heart feels hot hot hot.  
He feels his phone vibrating in his pocket, a constant beat to match his racing heart, but he can’t concentrate hard enough to get his fingers to listen to his brain. He knows it’s probably Dongwoo, wondering where he is, because of course he would be the only one to notice. (Because no one else ever notices).

Woohyun studies his hands, they look small and ugly against the dark gray sky, not nearly as beautiful in comparison to Sunggyu’s. His nails are bitten and uneven and he knows he will be scolded by someone in the morning for the state he’s managed to leave them in. His sad thumb nail has a droplet of blood dripping down from how hard he’s bitten it. Woohyun doesn’t even remember biting them at all.

Woohyun thinks of biting razor-sharp collarbones and the skin of a long pale neck and he suddenly feels sick.

\---

When Woohyun checks his phone much, much later, it’s a missed call from Sunggyu. He laughs.

\---

“Where were you?” The words reach Woohyun’s ears the moment he enters the dorm at sometime-past-midnight. He might have lost track of his time on the roof, like he often does as of late. He doesn’t even have to raise his head to know who the voice belongs to.

“Woohyun, don’t just walk away from me! You can’t just not answer my calls and completely disappear. I was really worried.” Sunggyu waits at his door for awhile until Woohyun can tell he has sat down against the door in the same position as him. Sunggyu faintly starts to murmur from the other side of the dark wood but Woohyun can hear him perfectly - he can always hear Sunggyu just perfectly. “I’m just sad. You’re all locked up in that little world of yours, and when I try knocking on the door, you just sort of look up for a second and go right back inside.”

The truth starts to crawl up Woohyun’s throat but he is so, so afraid. But despite the warm arms around him at night and the faint kisses left on his jaw line Woohyun knows that Sunggyu doesn’t feel the same. But Woohyun knows - no mistake about it. Ice is cold; roses are red; he’s in love. And his love is about to carry him off somewhere. The current’s too overpowering; he doesn’t have any choice. Even if it means he will be burned up, gone forever. Kim Sunggyu will always be there - a pulsing thought at the back of his head throbbing consistently.

No, they were not lovers, but in a way they had opened themselves to each other even more deeply than lovers do. The thought caused Woohyun a good deal of grief. What a terrible thing it is to wound someone you really care for - and to do it so unconsciously.

\---

After two days of not talking to Sunggyu, Woohyun finally relents (just like he always has).

“I have a million things to talk to you about. All I want in this world is you. I want to see you and talk. I want the two of us to begin everything from the beginning.” This is what Woohyun plans to say to Sunggyu, but instead he starts with a “Your tempo was off in the second verse, by the way” and Woohyun doesn’t even have to look at Sunggyu to know he’s smiling, but he does, because it’s Kim Sunggyu.

Woohyun wonders how he can know Sunggyu so well when Sunggyu doesn’t seem know him at all.

\---

It takes one drunken night to crumble Woohyun’s entire facade.

The words slip out as a mumble against Sunggyu’s damp skin - I love you. But after the first three the rest keep coming. “I’m in love with you, you’re beautiful, I want you” They all tumbled out as Sunggyu thrusted deep inside him hitting that spot so accurately that Woohyun thinks maybe Sunggyu does know him, and maybe it’s Woohyun who’s the one who knows nothing at all.

And later when Woohyun wakes up in the morning with Sunggyu’s arms still around him he thinks maybe Sunggyu loves him too.


End file.
